A grandmother is concerned that her son has abandoned his daughter.
She asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum for help. Her son Julius had his daughter Annabella young. But after Annabella’s mother was deported, the grandmother took full custody of her. The issue is that Julius is now married with two sons and essentially pretends his daughter doesn’t exist.
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“I got pregnant with my son Julius about a month after my 18th birthday,” she explained. “I tried to do my best for him, and he got into a good engineering school. But at 19, he got his then-girlfriend Iza pregnant, and they had Annabella together. I’ve been the one who has mostly raised her (Iza got deported). Julius got married to his girlfriend Katja after graduation, and they have two wonderful boys together. Annabella lives with me and not with them.”
“Julius never spends any time with Annabella. He doesn’t even call to say goodnight. But she loves him so much. Once a month, he’ll show up with a box full of toys, spend a day with her and then go back to his family. It hurts her so much that he doesn’t spend time with her because he’s her hero. I’m just grandma.”
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When Julius continued to leave Annabella out of his family plans, the grandmother confronted him.
“And no, he doesn’t act this way because of his wife,” she wrote. “Katja would love to have Annabella move in with them. She once brought up the idea, and she went on about all the things they could do together. She would love to be her stepmom and calls her princess, sweetie and so many nice nicknames. The only reason they haven’t [moved Annabella in with them] is that Julius has said she should stay with me.”
“Julius told me that he and Katja were planning a trip to Disneyland in August. I told him that Annabella would be so excited and that he should tell her on her birthday. And he just blankly told me she was not coming and that the trip was for his boys. I made it clear to him that he needed to bring her on the trip, and he just called me an a****** — which he’s never done before — for trying to control him. I admit that I was a bit controlling in my reaction, but I don’t think I went that far.”
Commenters on Reddit sided with the grandmother.
“I’m thinking he wants nothing to do with his daughter because she’s a girl, and he has a perfect family with two boys,” someone commented.
“Seek out legal advice. Him showing up just to drop off toys is not him being a parent, and it’s unfair that he’s keeping her trapped this way,” a person wrote.
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